Dear Skymall Magazine, I never thought that something this erotic and crazy would ever happen to a guy like me, but when you travel, you always take that chance, right? The setting was so romantic. But who doesn’t find airports sexy? When I saw him, he was wearing a white shirt. William was his name. [...]
“We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can’t have both.”–Louis D. Brandeis (Helped develop Americans’ “Right to Privacy.” Legal scholars cite him and his opinions on “Free Speech.” Went after the Wall Street fat cats and the crooked bankers in [...]
I know they’re a nuisance to some, but I absolutely love these. I received this email exactly. The bold italics are my responses. UNITED NATIONS 2008/ 2009 SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS.SCAMMED VICTIM/$500,000 BENEFICIARIES.REF/PAYMENTS CODE:06654 $500,000 USD. Attention: Sir/Madam: How did you know about my trip to Thailand? This is to bring to your notice that [...]
Maybe you’ve noticed that I’ve been away for a while. If you haven’t noticed, then maybe our relationship isn’t what I thought it was. I haven’t been dropping blogs as regularly as I used to, but it’s not due to any creative constipation. Quite the opposite, in fact. Sometimes you just need to get away, clear [...]
First of all, let me say Thank You for your music. Your clamoring ditties are truly a breath of fresh air on an otherwise desolate musical landscape. And Thank You for having the courage to share your personal story. First, you were forced to work as a waiter, then, you and your girlfriend couldn’t get a [...]
I’ve always been a big fan of Nature. I see the Earth not as a 1987 Mercury Topaz dragging us around the sun until we die, but as a living, breathing thing. A wise, sentient being that would actually speak to us if we listened. I’ve always felt this way. As a child, I subscribed to Ranger Rick magazine, the [...]
I’ve been watching the various town hall meetings closely. I haven’t been listening to them however, because every time a person in a suit talks, I yell at the television until my neck and cheeks are red like I learned in Debate Club. Anyway, from what I read on the Closed Captioning, you’re forming something called a “Death Panel.” Aside from [...]
Hello Youths, (turn His chair around backwards so they [The Youths] know that He’s being casual) Let me first say that I sympathize with you. We grown-ups have been jerks. We’ve left you with a smoldering, burned-out husk of a planet, an economy that ensures that you’ll forever be tax slaves to our generation and television shows like America’s Got [...]
Folks, I’m no tree hugger; I prefer to go directly to second base, but I think it’s time for all of us to consider creating our own energy. In a recent article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, WE Energies is proposing a 7% rate increase for 2010. That’s up from a previously projected 4.9%. Why? WE Energies says that, [...]
NOTICE! This Blog is for my friends that do Improv Comedy. If you don’t do Improv Comedy, please stop reading now. I warn you; these are fruits you must not taste. *** Hello Improv friends, #1 on today’s agenda: Enough time has now passed, you may once again take “Bea Arthur” as a [...]
