Over the next month, you’re going to hear a lot about Wisconsin’s budget. Specifically, you’re going to hear that the budget was balanced, and then you’re going to hear that it wasn’t. You may even hear it from the same person. Frankly, the deft manipulation of half-truths has been elevated to an art form in [...]
I’ve never made a secret of my political views; I tend to lean left. Honestly, I don’t think my beliefs are that radical but, compared to what serves as the other end of the spectrum these days, admitting to some Conservatives that you have handful of liberal views is like announcing that you once opened [...]
Its catalog time again. And as thorough as market research is these days, each and every catalog is a specialized peek into the life I wish I had. It would seem that this year is my masculine year having received glossy membership to such testosterone-rich stalwarts as Woolrich, Russell’s for Men, and Duluth Trading Company. [...]
I do not care for the Milwaukee Brewers’ “Beast Mode,” and the main reason is this: There are going to be days when you get thumped 12-3, and when you do, any displays of “Beast Mode” during the afore-mentioned thumping appear childish and trite. I don’t mean to urinate in anyone’s Cheerios; if “Beast Mode” [...]
I went to the store today. Near our house, we have one of those large chain grocery stores. Without giving away the name, on another Earth, in another universe, it might have been called Choose N Hoard. I have a card and everything. Anyway, on the way in, two Cub Scouts eagerly asked me if [...]
My wife and I recently received this in the mail from Governor Scott Walker and his wife, Tonette: It’s a card congratulating us on the birth of our daughter. This is the inside: That was nice, we thought, but unfortunately Governor Walker asked us to return it when he found out that Nora’s birth was the result of [...]
I know this kind of spam is annoying to some, but I find it to be high art. And if the “Nigerian Phishing Scam” is art, what follows is a Monet. It is verbatim, and my responses are in (bold). ____________________________________________________ Hello Friend, Its me catherine Jasper, (Of course. Hello, Catherine) i want to donate what [...]
As I write this, my wife is experiencing what’s called Pre-labor. This is the point where cramps, which sound benign and kind of cute, become contractions, which are anything but. Even the word “contraction” is loaded with gravitas. A “contract” is a binding document; once signed, there’s no turning back. And we all know what [...]
My wife recently won some liquid soap at a Bridal Shower. Apparently, at Bridal Showers, the ladies play games right after the secret, ancient Fertility Rituals but before the cake. My wife won one of the games, and her prize was the soap. I asked her what the game was, and she just smiled. She [...]
I’ll be frank. I’m writing this now because the television is out. Perhaps you, like me, remember a time when the only way your television would go out was if the actual station was hit by a meteor. Or if it was the end of the broadcast day, and, after the Star Spangled Banner, you [...]
