As this is the first ever Wiscopedia entry, a brief introduction is in order. Wiscopedia is named after the internet site, Wikipedia, the most comprehensive and plagiarized on-line encyclopedia there is. Each week, I will chose a town in Wisconsin and create a Wiscopedia entry. In the interest of accuracy and journalistic integrity, I promise that the information contained therein will be no less than 25% factual, proudly earning the Politifact rating of: “Where do we even start?”
Today’s Wiscopedia entry is Mukwonago, Wisconsin.
Mukwonago is best known as the town you always mistake for Muskego. It’s located near Vernon Marsh (everyone said Vernon would never amount to anything until he got that marsh named after him), and it encircles Upper and Lower Phantom Lake.
Phantom Lake got its name from a legend about a love triangle between three Native American teenagers wherein two warriors from different tribes battled for the hand of a beautiful girl and everyone (including the girl) ended up dead. Some say that, each year on September 2, a ghostly light appears over the lake, and the whole grisly scene is re-enacted by the spirits of the departed. Still others say: “Huh? I’ve never heard that.”
When referring to Mukwonago, it’s important to distinguish between the Town of Mukwonago and the Village of Mukwonago. In 1905, the Village of Mukwonago incorporated separately from the Town for the purpose of confusing everybody. While the Town of Mukwonago contains most of the Village of Mukwonago, some of the Village actually encroaches on the Town of East Troy. Currently, Mukwonago is holding a bake sale in hopes of purchasing a fighter jet with which it plans to annex East Troy permanently.
Mukwonago was originally settled by the Potawatomi in the 1700’s, and its name was derived from the Potawatomi word for “Place of the Bear.” By way of tribute, there is a 9-foot, 1000-pound replica of a bear created by artist Dave Watson gracing the Mukwonago Historical Society. Immediately upon the bear’s unveiling, however, it was soundly beaten by the Green Bay Packers 38-7.
According to 2010 Census data, 51.2% of Mukwonago’s population is female and, financially speaking, single women in Mukwonago are in the top 10% when compared to the rest of the state. So if you’re a single male looking for a Sugar Mama, you could do much worse than Mukwonago.
Mukwonago is also home to the Elegant Farmer, creator of the Apple Pie Baked in a Paper Bag because, you know, regular apple pies just weren’t flammable enough. With the Apple Pie Baked in a Paper Bag, now overcooking a pie can also result in a convenient insurance claim. In truth, the Apple Pie Baked in a Paper Bag tastes great; much better than those pies baked in plastic bags.
Finding the Elegant Farmer is easy, too. Just look for the famous Smilin’ Barn which is a refreshing departure from Mukwonago’s more melancholy outbuildings.
Mukwonago is the home town of actor Eric Szmanda. A graduate of Mukwonago High School where he once protested the school’s Styrofoam cafeteria trays, Eric Szmanda is best known for his role as Greg Sanders on the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigation series. Lesser-known roles include that of my wife’s Not-so-secret television crush. Can’t say as I blame her; those eyes sure are dreamy.
Some say that, each year on September 2, he returns to Mukwonago and Phantom Lake to play the role of Native American Warrior #1.