I know this kind of spam is annoying to some, but I find it to be high art. And if the “Nigerian Phishing Scam” is art, what follows is a Monet. It is verbatim, and my responses are in (bold).
Hello Friend, Its me catherine Jasper, (Of course. Hello, Catherine) i want to donate what I have to the needy. (Good for you) You Could be surprised why i picked you. (I most certainly could be. Is it because I’m needy?) But someone has to do it. (I’m sorry. Do what? Pick me, or be needy?) I have been diagonalized (How horrible! That would explain the 45° angle) with Breast and Blood disease (Both?) which has defiled all forms of medical treatment (So it didn’t just defy treatment, it defiled treatment? That’s some serious Breast and Blood disease) and I have been told by my doctor that my days are numbered on earth. (How poetic) I have been touched to donate from what I have made from this World to charity through you (Oh, I see. I have to donate it for you) for the good work of humanity (I think I’ll donate it to the “Foundation to Prevent Email Scams”), rather than allow my relatives to use my hard earned funds inappropriately after my death (Those jerks. Now, you on the other hand…). Please email me with your contact information such as Your Full Names, (Including Aliases?) Address, Direct Telephone number and direct email address (You mean the one you just used to send me this message?) so i can tell you what you need to do and also give you more details about myself (I can’t wait to learn more about you and your Breast and Blood disease, Catherine) . Regards. catherine Jasper