Midnight Pomegranate

My wife recently won some liquid soap at a Bridal Shower. Apparently, at Bridal Showers, the ladies play games right after the secret, ancient Fertility Rituals but before the cake. My wife won one of the games, and her prize was the soap. I asked her what the game was, and she just smiled. She knew better than to betray the Sisterhood.

But my point is the soap. It’s the color of Grape Kool-Aid and it’s called “Midnight Pomegranate.” It’s not massage oil; it’s soap. Anti-bacterial, in fact, and, in my opinion, “Midnight Pomegranate” is way too sexy for soap.

But I guess it did smell like pomegranate if someone, God alone knows why, made it into soap, and it certainly had the cleaning power of Midnight, but the name was odd to me. These two things had nothing to do with each other. Why someone brought them together for the first time as soap got me thinking, and, in the spirit of “Midnight Pomegranate,” I’d like to offer the following names for soap:

Ginseng Frost
Jasmine Underlay
Pinochle Forest
Cinnamon Contentment
Latent Vanilla
Adolescent Cranberry
Unconditional Pumpkin
First College Ex-Spearmint
Pepper Jingle
Radiant Lemon
Quality Thyme
Jesus Loves Nougat
Aching Loin Berry Blend
Brunch
Muskmelon on the Sheets
Paranormal Undertones Peach
Aroused Citrus Medley
Grumbling Sky Merlot
Cilantro Nights
Moist Chocolate Infusion
Banana Pajama
Coconut Freedom
Paisley Cherry Regards
Pineapple Exhaust
Fields of Apprehension
Hazelnut Buttocks
Summer Caress
Zesty Patriot Breeze
Quivering Lilac
Grandma’s Apple Island
Mango Steam Bath
Chai Latte Forgiveness
Awapuhi Sunrise
Uncle Cedar’s Pillow
Polite Pear Rebuke
Alternative Clothesline
Sugar Cramps 

Feel free to contact me regarding the purchase of any of these names. By the way, they also make excellent Ben and Jerry’s flavors.

-Dylan

There are 3 comments

  1. My personal favorites:

    Pinochle Forest
    Sugar Cramps
    Cilantro Nights
    Quivering Lilac
    Unconditional Pumpkin

  2. I think I smell some Fields of Apprehension right now.

  3. Loved your list of offerings.

    I kinda remember a rock group named Latent Vanilla. No, wait, it was Strawberry Alarm Clock. Hey! Another soap name suggestion: Edible Annoyance.