Thank you so much for clicking. My wife and I have something that we’d like to talk to you about.
There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to jump in with both feet.
You see, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they get married. Sometimes when they love each other very, VERY much, (like my wife and me) they get married twice just to make sure it took.
Well, when they get married, it’s kind of like unlocking an iPhone; they can do all this extra stuff.
Sometimes, without the man and woman even having to pass a test to prove that they are qualified, a parasite begins to grow inside the woman, wearing her like an organic costume and controlling her every move. Apparently, it loves to make its new Woman Suit go to the bathroom every 10 minutes.
It also leeches all of her nutrients, and makes strange hormones surge through the woman. Hormones that sometimes make the woman try to suffocate the man with a pillow while he sleeps.
And you can’t get rid of the parasite; you can only wait until it wants to leave on its own. If you want to see the parasite before it comes out, you have to go to a powerful wizard who squirts X-ray jelly on the woman, and waves a wand that looks like a tiny belt sander.
Then, a magic mirror made by GE Medical shows a picture like this:
This particular parasite seems to be part squid, but I’m told that the other stuff in the picture is some kind of Womb Lava.
According to the wizard, this one is female, meaning the man is now woefully outnumbered, and now sleeps with one eye open.
Anyway, I’m glad we had this little talk.