I’ve recently announced my desire to be a Death Coach.  It’s like a Life Coach, but approaches the subject from a different perspective.

As an introductory offer, for a limited time only, hire me as your Death Coach and I’ll include $100,000 worth of Death Assurance as well.

Surely, someone has tried to sell you Life Insurance, but no phrase has ever been more of a misnomer.  Insuring life?  Immortality for 30 bucks a month?  Preposterous!  And yet we gladly pay it the premiums.

What I’m offering is Death Assurance.  Every day, at a time of your choosing, I will call you to remind you that you are going to die.  I assure you, it’s going to happen, and you can’t stop it.

Is there a better motivator than that?  A cup of coffee and your pending mortality.  Bring on the day!

Please note that I am NOT offering Death Insurance.  That implies a much more active role on my part.  I have no interest in following you around, insuring that you’re going to die.  Besides, I think there are laws prohibiting that.

Dylan Bolin Death Coaching:  “Let me help you walk up to Life and sucker-punch it.”

Now with Death Assurance!

-Dylan