Monthly Archives: September 2009

Speed Zone

The grocery store at which I shop for weekly provisions has recently made some changes.  They’ve removed several registers and replaced them with four self-checkout kiosks where shoppers may scan, bag and pay for their purchases without any cashier intervention.  While this offers a small degree of anonymity to husbands who are forced by their wives to sheepishly purchase […]

My New Enterprise

I’ve recently announced my desire to be a Death Coach.  It’s like a Life Coach, but approaches the subject from a different perspective. As an introductory offer, for a limited time only, hire me as your Death Coach and I’ll include $100,000 worth of Death Assurance as well. Surely, someone has tried to sell you Life Insurance, but no phrase […]

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My Fantasized Pledge Conversation During the Labor Day Telethon

The Jerry Lewis M.D.A. Labor Day Telethon has always conjured a mixed bag of emotions for me.  As a child, it heralded the the last day of Summer Vacation…and not in a Mardi Gras blowout way, but rather a depressing, low-rent and local way.  While I’m no longer in school, there’s still something about news personalities from […]

On The Same Day That Health Care Went Viral on Facebook…

…a woman in a wheelchair was shouted down at a New Jersey town hall as she attempted to plead her case. I just returned from a show at Marquette University where, for whatever reason, exactly half of the crowd began booing at the mere mention of President Obama’s name. My friends, at this rate, we are […]