I want names! I want the names of the cloying, Über-parents that complained about the viral YouTube video, “David After Dentist.”
You’ve seen it; it’s the one where a parent records his kid in the back seat of the car when the kid is still loopy from anesthetic after a trip to the dentist. I’d link to it, but the video became so popular that it was purchased, copyrighted and will soon be sold, I’m sure, but you can still find it in a search.
Anyway, certain parents found it objectionable because it was “exploitative,” recording a child like that, especially because they also thought that it mirrored, and therefore glamorized, the effects of certain drugs. And the only reason they knew it existed is because it was HILARIOUS!
Look, I’m all for child welfare; children are better than adults. They’re unspoiled by the life that crushed us; the same life that we continually try to foist upon them. And they are innocents.
That being said, if you can’t record your kid being HILARIOUS, i.e. doing something that could ultimately result in pain and humiliation, Your Honor, what’s the point of having kids in the first place? If not for clumsy, loopy, frightened, confused children, America’s Funniest Home Videos wouldn’t exist. (By the way, according to A.F.H.V., this also works well for the elderly.) I’ll admit, watching the show, there were many times that my wife and I, together, yelled: “Put down the camera and save your child!” as he accidentally rode his Big Wheel down a flight of stairs, but the family won $10,000 so everything worked out!
I love A.F.H.V.; it’s a guilty pleasure. I will always laugh at the sight of a large woman caught in a tire swing while her fleshy breasts act like the barb of a fish hook. Always.
I’ll tell you what makes “David After Dentist” so funny: It’s because, at some point, we’ve all awkwardly sat across from David’s grown-up doppelganger at a party of some kind. In fact, if David were talking about the Illuminati or the Tri-Lateral Commission, he would have been my buddy Doug, twelve years ago, in our apartment on the lower East side of Milwaukee.
Now, if someone is thinking of trying to catch this video lightning in a bottle themselves by placing their child in any kind of harm’s way, those parents should be prosecuted, but let’s just leave this one alone. It’s a hilarious flower pushing through a crack in the concrete of our aging guilt.
Thank you David and David’s dad. I look forward to your many television appearances in the near future and your inclusion in a VH1 special ten years from now.