We’re going on month four of this here B-log, and let me just get goosey and girlie for a minute and say that these four months of howling at the moon in my own obscure little corner of the Internet have been just fantastic, and I doubt the Honeymoon will ever end. I mean, my pal Randy estimates that there are 3.21 Million Blogs on the Internet, and I get to count myself as one of them. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: It’s my pleasure to provide you with the pallet-cleansing sorbet of web content between YouTube courses of A Kid Freaking Out After a Trip to the Dentist and A Kitten Slowly Falls Asleep. Even though you don’t ask for these Blogs, I’m proud to deliver.
Keeping up with site visits, page views and reader comments is new and exciting, too. Personally, I use Google Analytics. And I know that this site has finally arrived because the Spambots have found me. After looking at the Map Overlay feature in Google Analytics, I was impressed at how folks from all over the globe had visited the site. “Golly,” I thought in my best Indiana Hayseed accent, “this site sure is cosmopolitan.” I even got a visit from Iran, which I’m sure didn’t put me on some sort of list somewhere. It surprised me, however, to see that these visitors stuck around for no time at all. “00:00,” said Google Analytics. “Shucks,” I thought, taking off an imaginary hat made from macramed Pabst cans and scratching my head, “y’all come on back when you can sit a spell.”
At the same time, I started receiving strange comments on the Blogs like this: “Kmqrwtysip! Truibg pa rwundle!” At first, I thought it was a cry for help from someone having a stroke at their keyboard, but it didn’t take long for me to put the pieces together. These visits for no time at all and the strange messages were coinciding.
Now, WordPress makes it easy enough to catch the Spam before it appears as a comment, but you have to wonder who is sending it, and whether they think this Spamming method actually works. I mean, imagine talking to someone at a party. You’re standing there with a Collins glass wrapped in a napkin, engaged in heady discourse about, say, how Japan’s Nikkei fell the day before, when suddenly this loon runs up to both of you shouting: “BOOBIES! BOOBIES! BOOBIES!”
Does this Goofus really think that your conversation partner is going to say: “Hold that thought please, Dylan. These…what did you call them again, sir?”
“Indeed. These ‘Boobies,’ as you say, sound fascinating. Excuse me.” And then walk away with the guy?
Apparently, he does because the same Goofus expects you to click on a link of Gibberish. When I told this to my friend the Nigerian prince and my Russian bride, we laughed and laughed. Well, just in case there are people out there who will click on Gibberish, I want some of this action myself.
Comment: Bkhgxctuih! Inr wqs Vzpouhb!*
*Don’t worry, it’s just OK Go’s video for Here It Goes Again. No matter how many times I see it, it’s still cool.