Lady Catherine pulled her brush through her hair feeling the tug against her scalp. While staring in the mirror, she felt the tug from her heart. Sometimes she feared her heart would leap from her chest, take her place at the breakfast table and betray her lustful yearnings to her husband, Lord Horatio Hotchkiss. She [...]
Morning broke early on the Hotchkiss Estate. The fog lingered over the rolling pasture, and the hills broke through the mist like a heaving bosom straining against a nightgown. The horses had already been put out to pasture, and Lady Catherine Hotchkiss watched them through her second-story, chamber window. Their powerful haunches writhed beneath wiry [...]
Who doesn’t love a good bodice-ripping romance novel. God knows I do. I read them all the time; at the laundromat, on the bus, in the lunch room at work and even at home before Family Feud. Why, then, do they always leave me feeling so unfulfilled? Well, better to light a match than curse the [...]
This is regarding Housing Help, a recent Blog of mine. First of all, as the website announces, I’m a comedian in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I say that in order to distinguish myself from, say, an economist in Indianapolis, Indiana or a financial advisor in Ames, Iowa, both of whom might be better informed on such a topic than [...]
Ugh. Readers of this Blog will remember that just three short weeks ago, another Monday was erased by a “Big Game” hangover and here we are again. Except this time the culprits were Mimosas, spinach dip and Brussels Sprouts wrapped in bacon. There is some solace, however, as it’s all part of celebrating the wonderful diversity of [...]
It’s official. President Obama’s stimulus package is law and, come March 4th, some of that money ($75 Billion but likely much more) will theoretically begin to flow to struggling home owners facing foreclosure. If you are a homeowner (like my wife and I) and you aren’t facing foreclosure (like my wife and I) because you’ve been keeping [...]
We’re going on month four of this here B-log, and let me just get goosey and girlie for a minute and say that these four months of howling at the moon in my own obscure little corner of the Internet have been just fantastic, and I doubt the Honeymoon will ever end. I mean, my [...]
I would like to start smoking again. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. Yes, I know it’s bad for me, yes, I know it’s dangerous, but the State of Wisconsin needs me. Folks, I love my State of Wisconsin (State Flower: the Wood Violet, State Tree: the Sugar Maple, State Rock: [...]
I hope everyone is doing well today despite the state of our economy. If it makes you feel better just know that you’re not the only ones feeling the pinch. I’m sure you’ve heard about the financial ruin that has befallen companies like Bear/Stearns, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, A.I.G., Bank of America, Citigroup, IndyMac, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers and [...]
Brett Favre has recently announced his retirement (again), and this time, it’s likely to stick. As a resident of Wisconsin and a Green Bay Packer fan, I was drawn into the myriad dramas of Brett Favre’s career, first tearful retirement and subsequent departure to New York. Now that the Broadway curtain has fallen, looking at this history [...]
