Hello, friends. My apologies for being away for so long. Even though you don’t ask for them, I realize how much you rely on these unsolicited essays, and I have been slacking, but now, I’m sitting here at the computer with a mug of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and my fingers are performing their final safety check before [...]
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play [...]
So much white. Whiter than the population of Utah. I soon realized that it was not the white light of Heaven. Death, where is thy sting. I was not murdered for my succulent meat as I had suspected I might be. And while the snow did try to gain entry into our home by donning the brown shorts of the [...]
I’m counting on the local news to keep me safe; from the storm…and myself. Every meteorologist says they’re the one to trust…but I’ve been hurt before. Trust. But watch them I do, and watch them I will. They say that this is End of Days. In 2 hours, it will come. Twelve inches, wet and [...]
Personally, I don’t care for gift certificates. Nothing screams: “I was obliged to get you a gift so here’s a gift certificate!” like a gift certificate. I like to play with my holiday toys right out of the wrapping paper. That being said, for those of you who are looking for a last-minute gift for [...]
There’s a popular childhood toy of the past with a distinctly Wisconsin connection. The toy is Lincoln Logs. A lot of people think that Lincoln Logs were named after Abraham Lincoln, but they weren’t. Lincoln Logs were the idea of one John Wright, and he came up with the idea while watching the construction of [...]
Tick another experience off the very long list of things that have never happened to me because last night, a guy puked on my car. What makes this particular incident unique is that it didn’t happen at the curb, it didn’t happen in a parking lot; it happened at 60 Miles per hour. As I [...]
The West Allis Common Council recently unanimously approved (9-0 with one Alderperson abstaining) a Pit Bull ban in the City of West Allis. Thankfully, the Mayor of the city, Dan Devine, has promised to veto the legislation. As you may have guessed from the tone of this paragraph, my wife and I are pit bull owners. Bailey is a [...]
The last time I encountered a Web Designer, I remember thinking: “Wow, that was like talking to an artist.” There was the Thousand Yard Stare of seeking perfection and the distracted, interpersonal responses. And this was while he was NOT currently working on a website; in fact, he was avoiding working on a website. Just like [...]
After some requests to know how my 39th birthday was, I’ve decided to use this forum to respond. Let me first thank both of you for your curiosity. First, I believe that, after a certain age, shots are no longer celebratory but strictly medicinal. The sheer effort that is required for my aging body to [...]
